December 22, 2020 – Nell Iris

Today, I’ll introduce you to Sixty-Nine Santa 😁

Day 22 of Holidays at Nell’s: A Swants Soiree by E.J. Russell

Click for blurb

Introverted software engineer Brent Levine struggles with the life part of work-life balance, but to hold on to his new job, he’ll have to embrace his employer’s dreaded “staff enrichment” events. This year’s annual ugly holiday sweater party will strain his ambition to remain inconspicuous: everyone has to wear sweaters converted into pants—aka “swants.”

Brent’s an ace at coding, but when it comes to handcrafts, he’s definitely at the far left end of the bell curve. Luckily he encounters seriously cute theater costumer Jonathan at the Goodwill Outlet. Jonathan offers Brent both an acceptably ugly sweater and his expertise in swants conversion. Attraction sparks on Brent’s side, but can Jonathan be interested in a guy like him?

“Swants? What the heck is swants?” was my first question when I stumbled upon this book. A quick google (no, google, I did not mean ‘a swan soiree’) later told me it’s actually a thing and not something the author came up with (you never know with us author types), and that it’s really ugly (click here if you don’t believe me), it’s taking ugly Christmas sweaters to a whole new level, and then E.J. Russell took it even further than that.

Allow me to introduce Sixty-Nine Santa.

[—]Santa in a garish red suit, his beard in a different kind of yarn that made it look fluffy against the rest of the smooth stitches.
Then Jonathan flipped the sweater upside down.
Brent blinked. “So this is what? Sixty-Nine Santa?”
Jonathan peered down at the sweater. “No wonder he’s so jolly.”
Brent covered his face with both hands. “I’ll be walking around the office all day, looking like I’m getting a blow job from St. Nicholas.”
Quote from A Swants Soiree

Holy crap, this book, and anything with Sixty-Nine Santa, had me laughing so hard I gasped for air. I loved everything about it; the premise, Brent’s workplace, and mostly the main characters. They are both lovely; Brent is a nerdy and smart gentle giant and Jonathan is a short, creative, bubbly person, so the definition of opposites attract. And yet, they are perfect for each other.

I love the gentle-giant trope and Brent is the definition of one. I almost died of a cuteness overdose when Jonathan stepped onto a coffee table to kiss Brent so he wouldn’t get a crick in his neck.

It’s also full of nerdy references that made my heart happy.

“Help me, Sixty-Nine Santa,” he murmured. “You’re my only hope.”
Quote from A Swants Soiree

This is a meet cute story, full of ugly-but-hilarious swants, and high on the adorableness factor. It’s the first wobbly steps of a relationship, but the guys are so freaking adorable together that I’m absolutely certain they’re living a glorious HEA. With a little help of Sixty-Nine Santa, of course.

He gestured to himself, to his red swants covered with mistletoe boughs.
Warmth pooled in Brent’s belly, and he started to grin. “You realize what you’ve done?”
“No. What?”
“You’ve just waved a shit-ton of mistletoe over Sixty-Nine Santa’s head.”
Quote from A Swants Soiree